Dear Sweet Girl

It is crazy to me that we can’t figure out why.

Why are we are all so divided.

Why we can’t disagree with out disrespecting.

Why our younger generations seem so broken.

Especially why women are still suffering so many hardships.

Why women are no longer supporting all women.

Why women are choosing their own choice over life.

Why women are staying in abusive relationships.

Why women are shaming others all while feeling ashamed.

Why women  are living a life of addiction over a life of joy.

Why women are being cheated on and cheated with.

Why women are afraid to speak their truth.

Why women are continuing to be so broken.

Where can this why be answered?

It can be answered in the church.

It can be answered in the home.

It can be answered in the school.

The truth is the problem starts well before we become women.

The why can be answered when we are young girls.

So to the young girls, the middle school girls, the high school girls, the college girls…especially to my baby girl, my sweet girl…

Dear Sweet Girl,

Let me begin by saying sorry. I am sorry for everyone who has let you down, pushed you down, and broken you down. Even if they don’t apologize to you, forgive them, they are not worth your hurt.

Dear Sweet Girl,

You do not need to fit in with “those girls” because you were not created to fit in.

You were created to stand out.

You were created for His perfect purpose.

You are made exactly the way you were supposed to be made.

God did not make you to fit into the model this world has given for a woman.

You do not need to have certain friends.

You do not need to wear certain clothes.

You do not need to be a certain size.

You do not need to have a certain color of skin.

You do not need to have a certain type of hair.

You do not need to have a certain degree.

You do not need to have a certain career.

You only need to be certain of who you are and who He created you to be, you are His work of art.

“For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us].” Ephesians 2:10 (AMP)

Dear Sweet Girl,

Do not be embarrassed. Ask questions and more questions.

It is okay to ask for advice on boys, dating, and sex.

Be sure to know the difference between a boy and a man.

Be sure to know the difference between a Christian guy and a Godly man.

It is okay to not want to date.

It is okay to want to date.

Know what the intent of dating means to you.

Know what the intent of dating means to God.

It’s okay to be curious about sex.

Believe it or not it’s even okay to actually say sex (and not any other way of making it sound less intimate, less physical, less than what it is.)

Let me say this one more time for all my people who ARE THE CHURCH, it is okay to say SEX.

It’s okay to wait for sex.

If you haven’t waited you can start over and wait from now.

If you don’t want to wait know the implications go beyond just that moment.

Beyond just a regret.

Beyond just a mistake.

Beyond just a memory.

Beyond just a pregnancy.

Beyond just a choice.

It’s okay to talk about sex.

God actually created sex to be a good thing, between a husband and a wife.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 ( NIV)

Sex was created to be enjoyable as husband and wife.  Sex was also created so we could create and carry life.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.” (Genesis 1: 27-28, NIV)

It’s not okay to be forced into sex or any other physical sexual act.

It’s not okay to feel like you have to have sex to keep someone in your life.

It’s not okay to feel like being desired means having sex.

It’s not okay to be taken advantage of sexually in any form.

It’s not okay to suffer from sexual abuse of any kind.

Know you should seek help.

Know you’re not alone.

Know there is support.

Know we do believe you.

Know you do have options.

Know there are so many choices.

Know a baby deserves a choice as well regardless of gestational age.

Know there is help for you.

Know it is okay to talk about sex.

Know it is okay to talk about unplanned pregnancy.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

If he is controlling you, he is hurting you.

If he loves you it would not hurt.

If he was sorry it would not happen again, and again.

If he respects you he would not speak to you, look at you, treat you, or touch you in a way that makes you feel ashamed, hurt, scared, or broken.

If his hands and his body touches you in a way that causes you fear, pain, and heartache he is not the one for you.

If you don’t remember who you are or whose you are,  because he has taken that away from you he is not for you.

If he can’t commit to you alone choose to be on your own.  

If he is not helping you to grow closer to God, to grow in your educational goals, to grow more successful in your career, to grow as a person let him go.

If he does not have time for you, don’t make time for him.

If he does not treat you the way he should he never will.

If he does not see fault in his actions now, he never will.

If he wanted to changed he would do it on his own, you will never change him, fix him, or help him, it’s not your job.

You are not stuck.

He is not the only one for you.

You can get out.

You can find someone else.

If he does not respect you he does not deserve you.

If he has fallen out of love with you choose to stop loving him because, love is not a feeling or an emotion it is a choice that is followed by continual actions to support that choice.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

She is not better than you.

You are not better than her.

She is not prettier than you.

You are not prettier than her.

She is not smarter than you.

You are not smarter than her.

She is worthy.

You are worthy.

She has immeasurable value.

You have immeasurable value.

She is not your competition.

You are not her competition.

We are all important.

We are all good at what we do.

We all have purpose.

She can empower you.

You can empower her.

She is not your enemy.

You are not her enemy.

She is a woman.

You are a woman.

She is a daughter of the King.

You are a daughter of the King.

“Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown without telling the world it was crooked” (unknown)

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

You are not who your past says you are.

You don’t need to escape the pain through feeling nothing at all.

You did not cause the hurt you have.

You did not deserve the pain you have experienced.

Their choices are not the only choices you can make, you can get out, you can stop the cycle.

Don’t just try it one time. Don’t try it at all. It’s not worth the devastation that follows.

It does not have to continue this way.

There is help.

There is support.

There is hope.

Find the root of your pain. Don’t just cover it up.

You can fix your brokenness and become whole again.

Speak up.

Seek help.

Numbing the pain doesn’t make it go away.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”  1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

If you are not his only one he is not the one.

If he can’t commit to you, don’t commit to him.

Dating is supposed to be intentional.

Cheating is not just physical.

Cheating is a thought.

Cheating is a desire.

Cheating is a fantasy.

Cheating is an emotion.

Cheating is a connection.

Cheating is a choice.

Cheating happens in the mind way before it happens in the bedroom.

If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.

If he says he loves you he wouldn’t have to leave someone else to be with you.

If he is unfaithful it was never your fault.

Your worth does not come from any boy.

Your worth does not come from any man.

Your beauty is not measured by a boy’s opinion.

Once trust has been broken your relationship will never be the same.

Your husband is the example of what your daughter thinks a husband should be like.

Your husband is the example of how your son should treat his wife.

You are the example of what your son thinks a wife should be like.

You are the example of how your daughter should be treated.

“He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” Proverbs 6:32 (ESV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

Even when no one is listening, speak your truth.

Even when no one is acknowledging you, speak your truth.

Even when you are afraid, speak your truth.

Even when it hurts to talk about, speak your truth.

Even when they say it is inappropriate to say aloud, speak your truth.

Even when they say it will cause more harm then good, speak your truth.

Even when they say you should have moved on, speak your truth.

Even when it makes them uncomfortable, speak your truth.

Even when they disagree, speak your truth.

Even when they say you can’t, speak your truth.

Even when they don’t want you to, speak your truth.

Even when they say we don’t talk about that here, speak your truth.

Whenever you want to, speak your truth.

However long you want to, speak your truth.

No matter how long it has been, speak your truth.

Even when they say you are wrong, speak your truth.

Even when they say He isn’t real, speak your truth.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 (ESV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

Even when you feel broken, you are loved.

Even when you feel broken, you are cherished.

Even when you feel broken, you are strong.

Even when you feel broken, you are His.

Even when you feel broken, you are worthy.

Even when you feel broken, you are valued.

Even when you feel broken, you are not.

Even when you feel broken do not give up.

Even when you feel broken do not end your life.

Even when you feel broken there is hope.

Even when you feel broken there is help.

You can be made whole.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (ESV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

Dear Sweet Girl,

I know it seems so hard sometimes. It does get better.

I know it seems like things will never change. They will.

I know it seems like it will always be like this. It won’t.

I know it seems like no one is there. They are.

I know it seems like no one cares. They do.

I know it seems like you are all alone. You’re not.

I know it seems like no one understands. I do.

Dear Sweet Girl,

The why can be answered if we put God first.

The why can be answered if we allow ourselves a moment to think back and reach out to those who are just like we once were.

The why can be answered if we can reach out and be honest.

The why can be answered if we can stand up and speak out for those who can’t, yet.

The why can be answered if we can stop feeling ashamed.

The why can be answered if we can start realizing our worth.

 We can make a difference if we just try to answer the why.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *